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onceandfuturekiki:

When both of the chefs you liked make it to the dessert round on Chopped…

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even better when they’re somehow both women

chopped: battle of the network hosts

ted allen, alton brown, marc summers, and that smarmy guy from cupcake wars all get to come compete

chopped guest host for that episode: rupaul. alternately, will ferrell as alex trebek.

OH MY GOD LAMB’S HEAD

ARTICHOKE LIQUEUR

SOMEONE LOST A BET

CHOPPED GRAND CHAMPION, JUN TANAKA

reinventlove:

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OMG YAAAAAAAAY

i can’t wait to go back to london and get to go to his own actual restaurant instead of just where he’s the executive chef

i want to see the chopped outtakes where ted allen just starts making up words while naming basket ingredients.

or possibly calling things by their proper names.

"IT’S JELL-O FOR GOD’S SAKE, AND THAT’S ACTUALLY FRUITY PEBBLES GUYS, SRSLY"

why i'll never compete on chopped

Ted Allen: Your dish must include... lamb fries!

Me: LIAR THOSE ARE TESTICLES, I AM SO DONE, I AM GOING TO SIT ON THE FLOOR AND SOB QUIETLY OR MAYBE SERVE AS SOUS CHEF TO ANOTHER COMPETITOR JUST TO AVOID OPENING THAT BAG OF PURE EVIL

Me: BUT NOT BEFORE SETTING FIRE TO THE ICE CREAM MACHINE

Me: SO THERE BITCHES

the chopped judges one third of the time: OMG HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US WE WANTED TO TASTE YOUR NEXT DISH SO MUCH, WHY WOULD YOU MAKE US CHOP YOU, HOLY FUCK, UGLY CRYING, MASCARA EVERYWHERE

the chopped judges the other two thirds of the time: LOL BYE BITCH