i run nedxnancy.tumblr.com for my daily fix of nancy/ned action. i love: nancy drew, law & order criminal intent, the fall, dark city, mad men, arrested development, archer, community, justified, lois & clark, star trek, perry mason, jane eyre, eddie izzard, terry pratchett, addams family, apple, bertha cool & donald lam, MST3K, interpol, my morning jacket, st vincent, playmobil, diana gabaldon's cracktastic outlander series, raymond chandler, cillian murphy, wodehouse; alias, chuck, carnivale, pushing daisies, the adventures of pete & pete, tomorrow people (new series), veronica mars, legend of the seeker/the sword of truth, lost, x-files.

 

i see animal crossing photosets/gifs

and i think “ooooooh yes want to play again”

and then i think “but i have to sleep sometime”

I asked myself what style we women could have adopted that would have been unmarked, like the men’s. The answer was none. There is no unmarked woman.

There is no woman’s hair style that can be called standard, that says nothing about her. The range of women’s hair styles is staggering, but a woman whose hair has no particular style is perceived as not caring about how she looks, which can disqualify her for many positions, and will subtly diminish her as a person in the eyes of some.

Women must choose between attractive shoes and comfortable shoes. When our group made an unexpected trek, the woman who wore flat, laced shoes arrived first. Last to arrive was the woman in spike heels, shoes in hand and a handful of men around her.

If a woman’s clothing is tight or revealing (in other words, sexy), it sends a message — an intended one of wanting to be attractive, but also a possibly unintended one of availability. If her clothes are not sexy, that too sends a message, lent meaning by the knowledge that they could have been. There are thousands of cosmetic products from which women can choose and myriad ways of applying them. Yet no makeup at all is anything but unmarked. Some men see it as a hostile refusal to please them.

Women can’t even fill out a form without telling stories about themselves. Most forms give four titles to choose from. “Mr.” carries no meaning other than that the respondent is male. But a woman who checks “Mrs.” or “Miss” communicates not only whether she has been married but also whether she has conservative tastes in forms of address — and probably other conservative values as well. Checking “Ms.” declines to let on about marriage (checking “Mr.” declines nothing since nothing was asked), but it also marks her as either liberated or rebellious, depending on the observer’s attitudes and assumptions.

I sometimes try to duck these variously marked choices by giving my title as “Dr.” — and in so doing risk marking myself as either uppity (hence sarcastic responses like “Excuse me!”) or an overachiever (hence reactions of congratulatory surprise like “Good for you!”).

All married women’s surnames are marked. If a woman takes her husband’s name, she announces to the world that she is married and has traditional values. To some it will indicate that she is less herself, more identified by her husband’s identity. If she does not take her husband’s name, this too is marked, seen as worthy of comment: she has done something; she has “kept her own name.” A man is never said to have “kept his own name” because it never occurs to anyone that he might have given it up. For him using his own name is unmarked.

A married woman who wants to have her cake and eat it too may use her surname plus his, with or without a hyphen. But this too announces her marital status and often results in a tongue-tying string. In a list (Harvey O’Donovan, Jonathan Feldman, Stephanie Woodbury McGillicutty), the woman’s multiple name stands out. It is marked.

polkadottedmars said: I’m dying of laughter.

It… was VERY specific. And the person helpfully defined one of the… terms, used. At least a few of the prompts in the VERY LONG list were Sarah/Chuck.

to the person on ffn who just sent me a detailed chuck-porn wishlist in the hopes i could help out with writing it

i feel like maybe i know too much about you now

like, wayyyyyyy too much

thanks for thinking of me for your chuck porn needs

wish i could help

however, i’m still kinda fucked up from chuck season 5 and also i’m all about the nancy/ned sexytimes for the foreseeable rest of my lifetime

so there’s that

anyway, really hope you find that very specific f/f story of your dreams

good luck, internet denizen

*brief wave*

jekoh:

gohomeluhan:

As I’m walking through Target with my little sister, the kid somehow manages to convince me to take a trip down the doll aisle. I know the type - brands that preach diversity through displays of nine different variations of white and maybe a black girl if you’re lucky enough. What I instead found as soon as I turned into the aisle were these two boxes.

The girl on the left is Shola, an Afghani girl from Kabul with war-torn eyes. Her biography on the inside flap tells us that “her country has been at war since before she was born”, and all she has left of her family is her older sister. They’re part of a circus, the one source of light in their lives, and they read the Qur’an. She wears a hijab.

The girl on the right is Nahji, a ten-year-old Indian girl from Assam, where “young girls are forced to work and get married at a very early age”. Nahji is smart, admirable, extremely studious. She teaches her fellow girls to believe in themselves. In the left side of her nose, as tradition mandates, she has a piercing. On her right hand is a henna tattoo.

As a Pakistani girl growing up in post-9/11 America, this is so important to me. The closest thing we had to these back in my day were “customizable” American Girl dolls, who were very strictly white or black. My eyes are green, my hair was black, and my skin is brown, and I couldn’t find my reflection in any of those girls. Yet I settled, just like I settled for the terrorist jokes boys would throw at me, like I settled for the butchered pronunciations of names of mine and my friends’ countries. I settled for a white doll, who at least had my eyes if nothing else, and I named her Rabeea and loved her. But I still couldn’t completely connect to her.

My little sister, who had been the one to push me down the aisle in the first place, stopped to stare with me at the girls. And then the words, “Maybe they can be my American Girls,” slipped out of her mouth. This young girl, barely represented in today’s society, finally found a doll that looks like her, that wears the weird headscarf that her grandma does and still manages to look beautiful.

I turned the dolls’ boxes around and snapped a picture of the back of Nahji’s. There are more that I didn’t see in the store; a Belarusian, an Ethiopian, a Brazilian, a Laotian, a Native American, a Mexican. And more.

These are Hearts 4 Hearts dolls, and while they haven’t yet reached all parts of the world (I think they have yet to come out with an East Asian girl), they need all the support they can get so we can have a beautiful doll for every beautiful young girl, so we can give them what our generation never had.

Please don’t let this die. If you know a young girl, get her one. I know I’m buying Shola and Nahji for my little sister’s next birthday, because she needs a doll with beautiful brown skin like hers, a doll who wears a hijab like our older sister, a doll who wears real henna, not the blue shit white girls get at the beach.

The Hearts 4 Hearts girls are so important. Don’t overlook them. Don’t underestimate them. These can be the future if we let them.

You can read more about the dolls here: http://www.playmatestoys.com/brands/hearts-for-hearts-girls

These get even better.  The Col and I sometimes wander down to the mall forty minutes away just to be around large spaces that are open late, and we wander Target and almost always end up at least passing by to glimpse these.  And I fell in LOVE and almost bought one on the spot the first time we really got a look at them,both to keep the line going and because with every purchase, a dollar goes to support an organization or program that supports kids in the region the doll is “from”.

I wouldn’t be embarrassed to own every single one of these.  We can pretend it’s for work.  Totally for work.  Go buy some.  Keep it going.

thecsph:

thebasehrbi:

A lot of people like to explain consent in sexual encounters as “No means no.” This is true, but doesn’t capture as many crucial parts of happy fun sex and experiences as “Yes means yes!” Consent should always be informed and enthusiastic, never coerced, and you and your partner should be looking for consent continuously. Stay safe, stay happy, and have fun!

Consent can look different for different people, but that’s why communication between partners is so important. No matter what it looks like though, consent should not hinge on any fear, discomfort, or pressure. 

thecsph:

thebasehrbi:

A lot of people like to explain consent in sexual encounters as “No means no.” This is true, but doesn’t capture as many crucial parts of happy fun sex and experiences as “Yes means yes!” Consent should always be informed and enthusiastic, never coerced, and you and your partner should be looking for consent continuously. Stay safe, stay happy, and have fun!

Consent can look different for different people, but that’s why communication between partners is so important. No matter what it looks like though, consent should not hinge on any fear, discomfort, or pressure. 

ultrafacts:

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i am sure the person who wrote that headline was infinitely amused and i would’ve been too

ultrafacts:

Source

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts!

i am sure the person who wrote that headline was infinitely amused and i would’ve been too

So this happened at work today.

Coworker: You guys are so dramatic, not all men are evil and shit.

Me: .... I know that, intellectually. Emotionally I'm not that clear.

Cowoker: Ah?

Me: Let me put it this way. You know that if a skinny, rather short guy like you goes to jail, he's rather likely to be raped, right?

Cowoker: Yes.

Me: So let's suppose you go to jail for something rather harmless, something that harmed no one, like... ar... selling bootleg DVDs or something like that. Something that would keep you inside for a year or so.

Cowoker: Okay?

Me: So you go to jail and you know that people get raped in there. Yet you intellectually know it's impossible that all inmates are gay and sexually interested in you, it's statistically impossible. Right?

Cowoker: Right.

Me: But you'd still be scared, wouldn't you? I mean you know not all of them are out to get you, but you know some might and you can't tell who it would be. And yet you are forced to spend all your time with them, to share your space with them, and you know you might look at that ONE guy who could and would want to rape you. It would be ridiculously scary, right?

Cowoker: O__o it would.

Me: ....... well, that's how women feel every day, all the time. We know not all men are out to rape us, most would never dare do something like that, but we know there are some out there who would, gladly at that, and we can't tell them appart on sight alone. Also we feel like the short, skinny kid who did nothing really bad in jail, we know anyone can bring us down with a single punch.

Cowoker: ...... O___O

Me: ... so that girl who glares at you in the subway, she is not thinking you are a horrible man that deserves to die, she is trying to find out whether you are part of the small percentage of men out there who can and want to do her harm. You all should wear labels by the way, it would make communication so much easier.

Cowoker: ........ that's fucking horrible.

Me: I know, right?