i run nedxnancy.tumblr.com for my daily fix of nancy/ned action. i love: nancy drew, law & order criminal intent, the fall, dark city, mad men, arrested development, archer, community, justified, lois & clark, star trek, perry mason, jane eyre, eddie izzard, terry pratchett, addams family, apple, bertha cool & donald lam, MST3K, interpol, my morning jacket, st vincent, playmobil, diana gabaldon's cracktastic outlander series, raymond chandler, cillian murphy, wodehouse; alias, chuck, carnivale, pushing daisies, the adventures of pete & pete, tomorrow people (new series), veronica mars, legend of the seeker/the sword of truth, lost, x-files.
and i think “ooooooh yes want to play again”
and then i think “but i have to sleep sometime”
I asked myself what style we women could have adopted that would have been unmarked, like the men’s. The answer was none. There is no unmarked woman.
There is no woman’s hair style that can be called standard, that says nothing about her. The range of women’s hair styles is staggering, but a woman whose hair has no particular style is perceived as not caring about how she looks, which can disqualify her for many positions, and will subtly diminish her as a person in the eyes of some.
Women must choose between attractive shoes and comfortable shoes. When our group made an unexpected trek, the woman who wore flat, laced shoes arrived first. Last to arrive was the woman in spike heels, shoes in hand and a handful of men around her.
If a woman’s clothing is tight or revealing (in other words, sexy), it sends a message — an intended one of wanting to be attractive, but also a possibly unintended one of availability. If her clothes are not sexy, that too sends a message, lent meaning by the knowledge that they could have been. There are thousands of cosmetic products from which women can choose and myriad ways of applying them. Yet no makeup at all is anything but unmarked. Some men see it as a hostile refusal to please them.
Women can’t even fill out a form without telling stories about themselves. Most forms give four titles to choose from. “Mr.” carries no meaning other than that the respondent is male. But a woman who checks “Mrs.” or “Miss” communicates not only whether she has been married but also whether she has conservative tastes in forms of address — and probably other conservative values as well. Checking “Ms.” declines to let on about marriage (checking “Mr.” declines nothing since nothing was asked), but it also marks her as either liberated or rebellious, depending on the observer’s attitudes and assumptions.
I sometimes try to duck these variously marked choices by giving my title as “Dr.” — and in so doing risk marking myself as either uppity (hence sarcastic responses like “Excuse me!”) or an overachiever (hence reactions of congratulatory surprise like “Good for you!”).
All married women’s surnames are marked. If a woman takes her husband’s name, she announces to the world that she is married and has traditional values. To some it will indicate that she is less herself, more identified by her husband’s identity. If she does not take her husband’s name, this too is marked, seen as worthy of comment: she has done something; she has “kept her own name.” A man is never said to have “kept his own name” because it never occurs to anyone that he might have given it up. For him using his own name is unmarked.
A married woman who wants to have her cake and eat it too may use her surname plus his, with or without a hyphen. But this too announces her marital status and often results in a tongue-tying string. In a list (Harvey O’Donovan, Jonathan Feldman, Stephanie Woodbury McGillicutty), the woman’s multiple name stands out. It is marked.
polkadottedmars said: I’m dying of laughter.
It… was VERY specific. And the person helpfully defined one of the… terms, used. At least a few of the prompts in the VERY LONG list were Sarah/Chuck.
i feel like maybe i know too much about you now
like, wayyyyyyy too much
thanks for thinking of me for your chuck porn needs
wish i could help
however, i’m still kinda fucked up from chuck season 5 and also i’m all about the nancy/ned sexytimes for the foreseeable rest of my lifetime
so there’s that
anyway, really hope you find that very specific f/f story of your dreams
good luck, internet denizen
Coworker: You guys are so dramatic, not all men are evil and shit.
Me: .... I know that, intellectually. Emotionally I'm not that clear.
Me: Let me put it this way. You know that if a skinny, rather short guy like you goes to jail, he's rather likely to be raped, right?
Me: So let's suppose you go to jail for something rather harmless, something that harmed no one, like... ar... selling bootleg DVDs or something like that. Something that would keep you inside for a year or so.
Me: So you go to jail and you know that people get raped in there. Yet you intellectually know it's impossible that all inmates are gay and sexually interested in you, it's statistically impossible. Right?
Me: But you'd still be scared, wouldn't you? I mean you know not all of them are out to get you, but you know some might and you can't tell who it would be. And yet you are forced to spend all your time with them, to share your space with them, and you know you might look at that ONE guy who could and would want to rape you. It would be ridiculously scary, right?
Cowoker: O__o it would.
Me: ....... well, that's how women feel every day, all the time. We know not all men are out to rape us, most would never dare do something like that, but we know there are some out there who would, gladly at that, and we can't tell them appart on sight alone. Also we feel like the short, skinny kid who did nothing really bad in jail, we know anyone can bring us down with a single punch.
Cowoker: ...... O___O
Me: ... so that girl who glares at you in the subway, she is not thinking you are a horrible man that deserves to die, she is trying to find out whether you are part of the small percentage of men out there who can and want to do her harm. You all should wear labels by the way, it would make communication so much easier.
Cowoker: ........ that's fucking horrible.
Me: I know, right?